Weird News: Kinectiporn, CGI dogs and sexy DNA

Kinect hack brings interactive porn
It’s what you were all waiting for, don’t pretend otherwise. The Kinect hacks have been flooding in thick and fast, but this one probably takes the cake for innovation. Fancy controlling onscreen adult action with various thrusts and positions? Welcome to the future…

Barbie grows a brain, gets an iPhone
Barbie’s been around for a long time now and doesn’t show any signs of aging, so she’s had plenty of time for self improvement. Seems she’s been on a night course of late, as she’s now the proud owner of a degree in computer engineering, a netbook and an iPhone. If that’s not aspirational, we don’t know what is.

Scientists get bored, dream up some stuff
How would Sir (or Madam) like a car that you can grow from seeds? Would you also like it to be bio-degradable? And what about the material? Ah yes, something lighter than plastic but sturdier than steel. Ok, done. All this will be ready for collection on the Monday after never.

Stolen Snowman garners police interest
A woman in Kent has reportedly gotten the 5-0 involved after her snowman was stolen from her garden. We know what you’re thinking and no, it didn’t just melt – it was genuinely half-inched. Even so… it’s hardly a matter for the courts, is it?

NASA finds aliens… on Earth
NASA held a conference yesterday to declare to the world that ET is living among us, only in the form of microscopic bacteria. The announcement wasn’t quite the revelation some were hoping for, but – trust us – it’s big news if you know your arsenic from your phosphorus.

Your DNA wants causal sex
Ever wondered why some people are keen for no-strings one night stand after no-strings one night stand, while others are desperate for long term commitment? It’s all in the Genes. New research suggests that your liking of casual naughtiness is directly dictated by your carbon-y innards, so it’s not your fault that you’re a misogynistic mess.

Andrex is dead
…Well, his career is, anyway. The child-dog star has been retired for good in favour of a horrific CGI monstrosity for the toilet roll company’s latest ad campaign. Call us old fashioned, but isn’t a real puppy just an all-round better option? Not to mention cheaper.

Posted by Adam Bunker

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