by Techjockey
February 24, 2010 in Humor & Jokes by Techjockey
No, Windows is not a virus. Here’s what viruses (viri?) do:
1. They replicate quickly — okay, Windows does that.
2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so — okay, Windows does that.
3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk — okay, Windows does that, too.
by Techjockey
February 24, 2010 in Humor & Jokes by Techjockey
The doctor is first. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop…whereupon it sticks about halfway down.
Now, it’s a well-known tradition in capital punishment that if the execution apparatus fails for any reason, this is interpreted as a sign from God, and the death sentence is commuted. Accordingly, the doctor walks away, still very much alive.
The lawyer is next. The executioner straps him down, hoists the glittering blade aloft, and lets it drop…whereupon it sticks in the exact same spot.
Same rules apply…lawyer walks.
The engineer is last. The executioner straps him down, as he hoists the blade aloft, the engineer twists his neck around, peers up at the blade, and says:
“You know, I think I see your trouble there…”
by Techjockey
February 24, 2010 in Humor & Jokes by Techjockey
A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting.
They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside.
The car occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes.
What were they to do?
“I know,” said the Branch Manager, “Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.”
“No, no,” said the Hardware Engineer, “That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. Ive got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time a t all I can strip down the cars braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way.”
“Well,” said the Software Engineer, “Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.”
by Techjockey
February 24, 2010 in Bloggers Park, Humor & Jokes by Techjockey
10. When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address.
9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”
8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.
7. You’re amazed to find out spam is a food.
6. You “ping” people to see if they’re awake, “finger” them to find out how they are, and “AYT” them to make sure they’re listening to you.
5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt contest.
4. You introduce your wife as “my lady@home.wife” and refer to your children as “client applications”.
3. At social functions you introduce your husband as “my domain server”.
2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, “I feel so colon-right parentheses!”
And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
1. Two Words: “Pizza’s Here!”
